Using Selective Disclosure

Scenario	Selective Disclosure Strategy	Example Response/Action
You’ve transferred to a new school and aren’t sure how teachers or classmates will respond	Not sharing your gender identity unless you feel safe	Wait to share your gender identity until you’ve figured out which staff and students feel supportive and safe
A substitute teacher misgenders you in front of the class	Choosing not to correct someone who misgenders you, if it feels risky	Decide not to correct them in the moment and talk to your regular teacher privately later if it feels safe
A friend asks what you dressed up as in 5th grade for Halloween	Talking about your past in a more neutral way	Say, “I dressed up as a movie character,” and then ask what they dressed up as to change the focus
Classmates start talking about “girl problems” or “guy stuff” and assume you relate	Redirecting conversations when they become too cis-centered or uncomfortable	Say, “everyone’s different,” and change the topic by asking a new question like, “what’s everyone doing this weekend?”
A family member at dinner starts making jokes about trans people	Staying quiet during a topic that doesn’t feel safe to speak on	Stay quiet, look at your phone, or excuse yourself from the table to protect your peace

You’ve transferred to a new school and aren’t sure how teachers or classmates will respond

Not sharing your gender identity unless you feel safe

Wait to share your gender identity until you’ve figured out which staff and students feel supportive and safe

A substitute teacher misgenders you in front of the class

Choosing not to correct someone who misgenders you, if it feels risky

Decide not to correct them in the moment and talk to your regular teacher privately later if it feels safe

A friend asks what you dressed up as in 5th grade for Halloween

Talking about your past in a more neutral way

Say, “I dressed up as a movie character,” and then ask what they dressed up as to change the focus

Classmates start talking about “girl problems” or “guy stuff” and assume you relate

Redirecting conversations when they become too cis-centered or uncomfortable

Say, “everyone’s different,” and change the topic by asking a new question like, “what’s everyone doing this weekend?”

A family member at dinner starts making jokes about trans people

Staying quiet during a topic that doesn’t feel safe to speak on

Stay quiet, look at your phone, or excuse yourself from the table to protect your peace

Information