Recap of Shift Your Focus

Remember, when you feel really overwhelmed or upset about the gender dysphoria or experience anti-trans/transphobic discrimination, it can be helpful to use avoidant coping skills.

Stay Present, Take Action, Shift your Focus graphic

Avoidant skills can help you get through those tough times, but it’s important to remember not to rely on them too much. Avoidant coping does not actually solve the problem of the gender dysphoria or its triggers. This is why it is so important to balance your use of mindful awareness, action, and avoidant coping skills.

Rules to notice if you are using avoidant skills too often (Reglas para notar si estás usando “avoidant skills” demasiado a menudo)

  1. You may get a sense that you are using avoidant coping too much if you start to feel isolated, alone, or detached from others and from activities that you enjoy.
  2. Keep in mind that avoidant skills are meant for the short term, so if you find yourself using these skills as your only go to coping skills it will be a good idea to think about using more action coping skills too.
  3. It is always okay to avoid anti-trans or transphobic discrimination! If you are in situations where you are being harmed it is always okay to avoid, leave, or ignore those situations, spaces, or people.
  4. You may find yourself using avoidant coping skills more as you start out. This is totally normal! And we encourage you to get creative and play around with mindful awareness and action coping skills until you become just as comfortable with them.
  5. No one coping skill is better or worse than others. But you can never use action coping skills too often, but you can overuse avoidance. So, make sure you are mindful of which coping skills you are using and try to mix up mindful, action, and avoidant skills.
  1. Puedes darte cuenta de que estás usando “avoidant coping” demasiado si empiezas a sentirte aislado/a/e, solo/a/e o desconectado/a/e de otras personas y de actividades que disfrutas.
  2. Ten en cuenta que las habilidades de evitación están pensadas para el corto plazo, así que si notas que son tu única forma de afrontamiento, será buena idea pensar en usar también más habilidades de “action coping”.
  3. ¡Siempre está bien evitar la discriminación antitrans o transfóbica! Si estás en situaciones donde te están haciendo daño, siempre está bien evitar, irte o ignorar esas situaciones, espacios o personas.
  4. Puede que al principio uses más las habilidades de “avoidant coping”. Esto es totalmente normal! Y te animamos a ser creativo/a/e y experimentar con “mindful awareness” y “action coping” hasta sentirte igual de cómodo/a/e con ellas.
  5. Ninguna habilidad de afrontamiento es mejor o peor que otra. Pero nunca puedes usar “action coping” demasiado, mientras que sí puedes usar evitación en exceso. Así que asegúrate de estar consciente de qué habilidades de afrontamiento estás usando y trata de mezclar “mindful”, “action” y “avoidant coping.”
an illustration of a light bulb with text - tips to reduce your use of avoidant coping.
  1. Take a moment to assess how strong the gender dysphoria feels. If it’s not at its most intense level, consider trying a mindful coping skill first.
  2. Have you tried using mindful or action skills? If not, try one of your favorite action skills instead of going straight to an avoidant skill.
  3. When you get better at mindful and action skills, use them instead of avoidant coping when the gender dysphoria is really strong. You might find they work better than you expect!
  1. Tómate un momento para evaluar qué tan fuerte se siente la disforia de género. Si no está en su nivel más intenso, considera intentar primero una habilidad de afrontamiento de “mindful.”
  2. ¿Has intentado usar habilidades de “mindful” o de “action”? Si no, prueba una de tus habilidades favoritas de “action” en lugar de ir directamente a una habilidad de “avoidant”.
  3. Cuando mejores en las habilidades de “mindful” y “action”, úsalas en lugar de “avoidant coping” cuando la disforia de género sea muy fuerte. ¡Puede que descubras que funcionan mejor de lo que esperabas!

If you are following our suggested schedule now is a time to take a break and spend the next six days practicing the skills you learned today. To help you with practicing we have created a helpful table with the avoidant coping skills you learned today. We recommend taking a screenshot or downloading it so that you can look over it as you practice.

Avoidant Coping

Generated by wpDataTables

Remember to start mindful, use action, avoid if necessary. (Recuerda: empieza con “mindful”, usa “action coping”, evita si es necesario.)

Illustration of a hand with a ribbon tied around the finger. Saying Stay mindful, Use Action, Avoid if Necessary

Practice for This Week (Practica para esta semana)

This week, we want you to pay close attention to when and how you’re using avoidant coping skills. Here’s how to practice:

  • Days 1–2: Just notice. Pay attention to how often you turn to avoidant coping skills. Ask yourself: Is the gender dysphoria usually at its strongest when I use these skills? (Días 1–2: Solo observa. Pon atención a con qué frecuencia recurres a “avoidant coping”. Pregúntate: ¿La disforia de género suele estar en su punto más fuerte cuando uso estas habilidades?)
  • Days 3–6: Start experimenting. Each time you experience the gender dysphoria, pause and check in with yourself about how intense it feels. (Días 3–6: Empieza a experimentar. Cada vez que experimentes la disforia de género, haz una pausa y revisa contigo mismo/a/e qué tan intensa se siente.)
    • If it’s really intense, it’s okay to use avoidance to get through the moment. (Si es muy intensa, está bien usar la evitación para pasar el momento.)
    • If it’s moderate, challenge yourself to try an action skill instead. (Si es moderada, proponte intentar una habilidad de “action” en su lugar.)
    • If it’s just starting, practice a mindful awareness skill (like deep breathing or grounding). (Si está apenas comenzando, practica una habilidad de “mindful awareness” (como la respiración profunda o “grounding”).)

The goal this week is to notice your patterns and gently push yourself to use more mindful awareness and action skills when you can. Avoidant coping is a helpful tool, but the more you practice other strategies, the stronger and more confident you’ll feel in handling the gender dysphoria. (“Avoidant coping” es una herramienta útil, pero mientras más practiques otras estrategias, más fuerte y con más confianza te sentirás para manejar la disforia de género.)

When you come back you will learn how to mix and match coping skills and receive your personalized coping cheat sheet! Set a reminder now to come back in one week for those final modules. (Asegúrate de poner un recordatorio para volver en una semana para los módulos finales.)

Recommended Schedule

Day Example Day Module Minutes
Week 1
1 Tue Introduction & What is gender dysphoria? 40
2 Wed Just notice your gender dysphoria triggers for two days.
3 Thu
4 Fri Seeing Gender Dysphoria from the Outside 30
5 Sat Just notice and name the gender dysphoria for two days.
6 Sun
7 Mon Stay Present 50
Week 2
8-13 Tue-Sun Practice your mindful awareness skills for one week!
14 Mon Take Action 60
Week 3
15-20 Tue-Sun Practice your action skills for one week!
21 Mon Shift Your Focus 50
Week 4
22-27 Tue-Sun Notice how much you are using avoidance and see if you can use mindful awareness or actions skills instead for one week!
28 Mon Coping Combos & Quick Review 40

Previous Reflections
Back to Module