If you would like to keep the table handy as you continue to work through this program, we recommend taking a screenshot or downloading it now.
Social Gender Dysphoria
Triggers
Examples
Misgendering
Deadnaming, gendered greetings (like “hey guys” or “young ladies”), incorrect assumption of your pronouns, teacher/boss using the wrong pronouns, mislabeling in record systems, being outed without your consent
Gendered Social Norms
Saying “boys/men and girls/women,” being told to act like your assigned sex, boy’s/men’s vs. girl’s/women’s activities or sports teams, forms with only male/female options, no nonbinary people in shows/books/media, gendered uniforms
Talking about Bodies
Peers commenting on your body changing during puberty, being asked invasive questions, being called by gendered body terms (like “pretty” or “handsome”)
Communication with Family
Disrespect of gender identity, repeated use of deadname, being forced to wear non-affirming clothing, not being allowed to come out, being told your identity is “just a phase”, lack of support for name/pronoun changes, grounded for expressing gender, being outed to others without your permission, being told to act more “girly/feminine” or “boyish/masculine”
Discussing Personal History
Parents sharing baby pictures without consent, being reminded of a past name or pronouns, school projects about “when you were little”
Social Media
Anti-trans posts, being tagged in old photos, being misgendered online, seeing harmful comments on trans and/or nonbinary content
Sex Separated Facilities
Restrooms, locker rooms, changing rooms at school, work, or sports events where you feel unsafe or unwelcome
School/Work Environment
Teachers/classmates/bosses using incorrect name or pronouns, grouped by gender in class or at work, classmates/co-workers making anti-trans jokes, school/work policies that don’t allow chosen name, not being allowed to use affirming bathrooms, being barred from gendered activities (like sports, roles in plays, clubs or organizations)
Anti-trans Politics
Hearing about bans on gender-affirming medical care, bathroom bans, anti-trans speeches or laws discussed on the news or on social media
Health Care
Doctors or nurses using the wrong name/pronouns, medical records with incorrect info, being asked inappropriate questions, fear of being judged or outed
Romance
Flirting with others, dating, being told who you “should” like, fear of rejection because of your gender identity, experience of rejection because of your gender identity, feeling pressure to act a certain way based on gender, exploring romantic feelings, dealing with how people might react to your gender
Thinking about future changes like growing facial hair or breasts, menstruation, erections, voice deepening, hip widening
Viewing Body
Mirrors, pictures
Getting Dressed
Going shopping, locker rooms, getting ready in the morning
Sudden Awareness of Body
Feeling your body move in unexpected ways, watching videos of yourself, video chatting/FaceTiming, catching your reflection unexpectedly, others commenting on your body
Hygiene Practices
Shaving, showering, putting on makeup, using the restroom
Exercise
Lifting weights, running, swimming
Gender-affirming Practices
Using a binder or tuck underwear, packing, wearing breast forms/prosthetic/pads
Romantic Activities
Going on dates or being romantically involved, feeling unsure about your body during romantic encounters, being hugged, being touched unexpectedly
“They are so much taller/shorter than me”, “I wish I had their body”, “everyone else passes so much better than me”
Comparison to Other’s Social Transition
“They transitioned so much earlier than me”, “I wish I could transition as easily as they did”, “why don’t they ever get misgendered”, “their friends and family support them more than mine”
Comparison to Other’s Medical Transition
“Why did they get to start hormones/puberty blockers and I don’t”, “their body changed so much faster than mine”, “my body is not changing as much as theirs did”, “their chest looks so much more masculine/feminine than mine”, “I wish my parents supported me medically transitioning”
Comparison to Cisgender People
“I wish I was cisgender”, “I wish I was comfortable with my assigned sex at birth”, “cisgender people don’t have to deal with this”, “will I ever get to look like my cis siblings?”
Negative Self-Talk
“I will never be affirmed”, “I will never have the right body”, “I will never be trans and/or nonbinary enough”
Thinking a lot About Past Social Situations
“Why did they misgender me”, “I am so tired of being deadnamed”, “why didn’t I correct them”
Worries About the Future
“What if my friends stop accepting me”, “what if I can’t transition when I’m older”, “what if I always get misgendered”, “what if my family never fully supports me”
Grief
“I fear missing out on moments like prom or school dances”, “I wish could wear what I want”, “I wish I had come out sooner”, “I wish I had grown up as my true self”
It is important that you take care of yourself as you work through this program. (¡Cuídate! Es importante que te cuides mientras avanzas en el curso.)
Do some joyful self-care activities now like: (Has algunas actividades que te traigan felicidad y relajación:)
watching a funny video (ve un video chistoso)
taking some deep breaths (respira profundo)
listening to music (escucha música)
reading a book (lee un libro)
dancing (baila)
or whatever brings you joy (cualquier cosa que te traiga felicidad)
Remember, there is no need to rush through these modules! (¡Recuerda, no hace falta terminar esto rápido!)
Use the next two days to notice when and how gender dysphoria shows up. The more you understand it, the better you can cope with it.
When you return, the next module will discuss ways to think about gender dysphoria as an external force trying to control you. Take a moment now to set a reminder to come back in two days to work on the next module. (Tómate un momento ahora para poner un recordatorio y regresar en dos días para trabajar en el próximo módulo.)
